Changing The Unchangeable

I remember a statement I made in passing a while ago, I said " God doesn't change His mind, man does". I didn't put a lot of thought to it then, but a lot has happened over the year, that makes me think of this statement, and understand it more. I am sure many times, we have asked God for certain things. As is the cycle of things, the answer is prevalent between three things: Yes, No, or wait.

When God tells us "yes" He is giving us the go ahead to move, when He says no, He doesn't accept, and when He says "wait", either we are not prepared, or He is preparing something better for an appointed time. 

Human as we are, when we do not get the "yes" answer, we get upset, irrespective of how we say "I'll thank God irrespective of the answer". We begin to question, especially when His response is "no". We want to know why, we feel we could have done things differently to warrant a yes. We convince ourselves to convince God (ironic isn't it). Especially when we want something so bad, our human nature finds it difficult to accept God's answer. A "no" from God pricks on our pride, and until we know how to fully surrender to His will, we keep disagreeing with him.

In the event of getting a "no" from God in past times, I tried to find a way to convince Him otherwise. I tried to reason with God, and make Him see things from my perspective. I felt like I needed to make Him understand.

I had somehow told myself, God isn't seeing things the way they really are, which is probably why I tried making Him see differently (I guess human nature can be extremely silly sometimes). But truth is, God is God, if He said yes, He knows its good enough for you. If He says no, He sees into the future and beyond and knows it isn't right for you, and if He says wait, it doesn't mean He is punishing you, it means you simply need some more time.

God doesn't change his mind, so every effort of mine to convince Him otherwise, or pray the same prayer two months after would not warrant a different answer, if the first answer was no. I have come to learn, no matter how much we try to change His mind, God doesn't change. If He eventually allows you have "your" will, it is your will and not His. In summing up my year, I'll say I have come to learn to appreciate and accept God's answer to me at each point. Human nature doesn't always agree, but it gets to a point, we need to understand personally that we are spirit, and our spirit have no obligation to obey the flesh or the desires of the flesh. 

2014 is rounding up pretty fast, and a new year approaches. If I have any lessons to pass on, I'll say learn to surrender fully to God's answers. Don't try to convince or negotiate with God, He is God and He knows best. If you truly are a growing Christian, you will understand that the act of surrender to Him, isn't about being controlled by God (different people have different philosophies of God), but it is about trusting the Omnipotent one to lead you aright. I thank God immensely for 2014, and wish you all a prosperous new year ahead. 

Surrender

Surrender they scream,

Surrender they shout…

Surrender to God,

And let go of your will.

They sing it,

They mime it,

They preach it in church.

They write it in stories:

Fiction,

Drama,

And all classes of books.

Its noted in the bible,

If possible in CAP-LOCKS I’ll say,

Yet,

When it comes to the reality of things…

To surrender,

A task seemly easy,

Yet hard to do

I tried and tried,

Yet so many times I failed.

Easier said than done I’ll say.

I said I had done it,

Let go of my thoughts,

My will,

My opinions,

Surrendered all to God…

But when it came to the reality of obeying,

 I realised I was wrong.

The pride stepped in,

 And then arguments followed.

A question here, a question there…

“Don’t you respect my opinion Lord”?

“Oh Lord, I doubt this is what you want for me”

On and on, I’ll drag it with him.

A plea here, and another there.

“Dear Lord please lets do it my way, this once” I’ll say.

Like He is, He’ll watch and smile.

“Child I know what’s best for you”

Stubborn as I am, off with my will I go.

Till hurt and pain, gets a grip of me.

And like the prodigal son, I’ll learn my lesson.

Drag my feet, and back to His ways,

His will, so perfect, yet so strange.

And then I’ll learn my lesson all afresh.

To surrender,

A task difficult, yet beneficial.

To learn from the master, and accept His will.

To know His ways are perfect, and meant for our good.

To surrender,

I task I almost despise, but yet I have come to understand.

That as for God, so gracious is He,

And to surrender to Him, a blessing so great.

So off I go, on my surrender journey…

Trusting my Father every step of the way.

Wants

There was a time…

Where I stood lost.
Lost in the hands of the life I saw,
Lost in what I thought I wanted,
Lost in who I thought I wanted to be,
Lost in what I thought the reality I wanted was.

I envied the world,
Envied the people I saw,
What they had:
The families they had,
Where they lived,
The schools they attended,
The kind of vacations they went for,
I envied... everything

I tried to appreciate what I had,
I tried to appreciate the effort being made by those around me,
I tried to appreciate and understand that God's plan for each person was different.When I think of it now,
I really could not grasp the idea of appreciation then.

I remember at those points, I prayed,
In my naive nature,
I prayed for my position situation to change,
I prayed for what they had,
I prayed for God to make a way.

You know God,
He did make a way,
But as usual,
He made His way, not mine.

I know I wondered for a while,
I hoped for another while,
And after sometime I learned to accept what I had, and enjoy it.

When I look back today,
I am glad he didn't give me what everyone else had.
I am glad He remained God and had His way.

I was naive,
I was being covetous,
I thought I was just being a child,
wanting the best for myself.
Today I know better.

When I look at who I am,
When I look at where I am,
When I look at what He has given me, no matter how little, I understand Him better,
I understand why He didn't make me have what they had,
I understand why He didn't make me who they were,
I understand when He says His way is perfect.

In my period of wanting, needing, and craving for what I didn't have, I realised I didn’t give myself the opportunity to enjoy the little I had.  Today, I know better. People would always have better than we do, people would always seem to be happier, and have better lives. But the gratitude we have in today, and the ability for us to enjoy where and what God gives us at each point, goes a long way in making us happy. I am not the best today, I don’t have as much as some, but one thing I have learnt is: God has us where He wants, and He has given us just what we need now. He sees the end from the beginning, and thus knows what is best for us at each point. Sometimes we don't understand why God does certain things at certain points, or why he doesn't do certain things at certain points, but I have tasted and I have seen that God is still God and He'll never make a mistake with us. So people, there is no need to make suggestions to God about what He can do now, or about what you think is best that He can give you. He is God, let Him do His job.

Shalom

A Lesson

When I need hope the most,
When I need something to lift me up, and give me a smile,
Those are the moments the world throws me the worst of challenges.

I begin to whimper, and shiver,
A few tears begin to drop.
Then I stop
How?
You may wonder,
How do I stop when the tears start?

Yes, I stop,
I stop and listen to the Holy Spirit,
I stop and hear his comforting words in my ears,
I stop and pay attention,
And listen to him show me a lesson at the point of my trial

Yes, at points like this,
 I feel like venting,
And screaming
And giving God a piece of my mind.

But this time...
I stopped right where I started,
And paid attention to listen.

It was beautiful...
Seeing the sun gradually shine in the rain,
Not because the trial had passed,
No,
Not because I had suddenly gotten a miracle(far from it)
But because at that point I was seeing things from God's perspective

I saw the beauty in my trial,
I saw the beauty in his plans,
I saw the beauty in endurance,
And I saw what he meant when he said "I would never leave thee, nor forsake thee".

So this time,
While I went through my trial,
I didn't do it on my own,
I didn't react to my flesh.
I let the spirit lead and I learnt in the process

It wasn't an easy thing,
It was difficult and required a lot of patience,
But in listening rather than complaining,
I saved myself the headache of being worried, and upset


So though the trials are not fun,
Though they seem too heavy to bear...
It is great fun knowing God is there,
It gives a relieve to hand over the situations to Him,
And its the best knowing He has always being there through all the other trials.

So now, when I go through a trial, I stand firm in confidence,
No, not in my own Confidence,
I stand firm in God's confidence,
Because I know He is always there, and willing to teach, if I'll only listen and learn.

Dear someone

A letter to one who should be called a friend.

Hmmmm, 

When I see you these days,

When I look at your lifestyle:

When I see the way you do, live and reason.... I simply smile. 

I know you think less of me in many ways, 

I know you look down on me and who I am, 

I know you don't fancy me a bit, and simply put up a face to keep up with me. 

I know you probably wish I drop down and die soon, and get my face out of your life.

I also know you gossip about me to no end.

I know you speak openly(behind my back) and disgustingly about who I am: 

My errors, my "foolish" nature, and my "pompous" behavior. 

I know that which disgusts you the most, is that I claim to be a Christian, 

Yet I so easily get on your nerves.

Hmmmm

Yes, I know all these, 

I also know I can sit all day and do what you do, 

I know I can also be human and get disgusted and annoyed at the things you do, like you do me.

But if I think about it, I realize its not worth it. 

I have thought a lot, I have observed alot, 

I have questioned alot: who I am, what I do, or what I have done wrong.

I have condemned myself, I have felt foolish and embarrassed of who I am, 

Simply because I watched you: what you did and did not like about me.

I have cried, and asked God to teach me and help me correct things with you, as I felt I had done wrong. 

Yes I cried to God. 

Funny thing is, He did hear my cry, 

Not in the way I asked, but in the way He felt was best. 

Psalm 34:17

So now, when I see you, and I see your reaction or behavior to me, I am glad.

Strange huh?

Yes, I am glad.

I am glad you despise me,

I am glad you don't approve of me, 

I am glad you notice all my errors and find a way to make it show you don't approve. 

I am glad that you judge me, for in doing that, you teach me. 

Once upon a time, 

I would have been mad, and upset... because you judge me, 

But no, not anymore.

You doing that has taught me great lessons,

Lessons I would have been oblivious of, if God didn't let you show me, 

I have learnt patience from you,

I have learnt to correct little things, 

I have learnt to be quiet, 

I have learnt to listen more, and speak less, 

I have learnt endurance, 

I have learnt the little things that make up a growing Christian,

I could keep listing, but I guess you get it.

I know you would not be the last "friend" to dislike and disapprove of me, 

But in having you doing it now, and so openly, you have prepared me for many more to come.

So while I could take this point as a trying time, 

I choose to take it as a blessing and enjoy the lessons. 

So dear someone, 

Thank you for being there, 

Thank you for being who you are now, 

And thank you for the lessons and preparation. 

Ohh yes, and  I do love you for this. 

Signed 

   A growing Christian. 

This is just one of the experiences I have to share, but I am pretty sure we all or some people, at one point or the other have/had people who are/were like this in our/their lives. You stand to make a choice: groan and whine about it, or learn a lesson and grow from it. The choice is yours. 

21st century Christian

I attempt to think,
I take a sit, and try to gather my thoughts.
I place the question which requires thinking in front of me, in my mind, like it were a notebook.
I ask "what makes me a Christian?"

Is it....
Is it the way I dress?
Is it the way I dance?
Is it the church I attend?
Is it the family I grew up in?
Is it if my parent(s) is/are preachers?

Or
Is it based on the new move of technology?
Based on the groups on facebook I am in?
Or the people I follow on twitter?
Is it the chain messages I forward on whatsapp?
Or the emails I forward?
Is it the accounts I follow on Instagram?
Or what??
There are many options to consider,
Many more questions I could ask,
But really what makes me a Christian?

Is my definition of a christian based on what I make people see?
Is it all about that?
Now I wonder...
My brain ticks  and I go forth, and I ask my Heavenly Father,
"Daddy, what makes me a Christian?"
I scream my heart to Him,
And tell Him how limited I feel by the cage I am surrounded in.

Caged in the box people have confined christianity.
I scream about this new wave of being a Christian,
Christianity caged in chain messages,
Christianity bound by the amens I type,
Christianity restricted too often to the preachers I claim to be my spiritual leaders,
Christianity tied to physical limitations...

Oh how my heart bled,
I told my Heavenly Father how I felt,
And how I wished who I was as a christian, was not based on who the world dictated I be.

So I paused and was still,
I paid attention to His words,
I listened to and digested who He said I was,
I chose to resume my true identity.

An identity not bound by religion, or technology,
But one bound in Christ, in who He was.
An identity bound by the plans God had for me,
An identity whereby my motives were not bound by guilt,
Or social blackmail, but one bound by the love my Heavenly Father had for me.
So yes, I let go of the norms of this world,
I let go of the chains I was bound by,
And I chose to simply jolly in my relationship with my Heavenly Father,
Holding dearly to His revelation of my identity IN HIM.

Note: So as it appears, the 21st century binds us to its chains and its rules. We often, or rather I had often wondered who or what defined who I was, and I realized I was gradually, consciously or unconsciously getting bound by societal norms. However, as I begin to discover who I truly am in our heavenly Father, I am with His divine help deciding to retrace my steps in His identity before society becomes my  idol. 

It is important we discover who we are in our relationship with God and it should be the most determining factor by which we live.

Clueless

If you ask me who I am,
If you ask me what I do,
If you ask me what I want,
If you ask me about the future,
If you ask me any questions at all,
I'll simply sit and stare...

Yes,
Simply sit and stare,
For I know not what I am to know.

I know not...                                          
What I do,
What I want,
Where I stand,
Where I am going,
Or how far I will reach.
I'll say, "they are just realities of the future I know not about".

But then,
If you ask me what I'll do,
If you ask me how I'll live,
If you ask me how I'll cope,
How I'll not worry,
I'll tell you the one thing I have hope in,
I'll tell you the one thing I am relying on.
I'll tell you I have confidence in knowing what I do not know.

Strange, yet true.

I'll tell you I have confidence,
Confidence in my Maker,
Confidence in the Creator,
Confidence in He who knows all things,
Confidence in He who has all the answers.

So here I am,
Clueless of who I am,
But yet fully knowledgeable of who I am in Him.
I may seem lost,
I may seem stupid,
But I know in His plans, He will cover my lack of knowledge.
So here I am knowing, yet not knowing.

Note: So here it is, 2014 all spanned out ahead of us. A huge number of revolutions for some, a few for others, singles for some and yet none for others. For me, 2014 is spanned out in what God has planned, what He says, and how He wants it. I have tried to plan my year on previous years, and like He is, He always tends to do His will. So this year and henceforth, I choose to be a scapegoat or rather a beneficiary to everything He chooses for me. So what I leave with you, is to wish you a year manned by God. A splendid year to all.