Sunday, 3 November 2013

Lost ---> Found

I felt lost in many ways
Ways I could explain
And yet could not explain
Ways I felt I knew in my reality
But yet could not fully relate with

I am a Christian
And I tried to be different
I was told to move away from the world
To stand out
And act like a Christian
Be Christ-like

So I tried to move away from the ways of the world
I tried to change my lifestyle
Tried to be more...  Christ-like

Hmmm…

I think I got lost
Lost in the notion of what being Christ-like was
I got lost in the religion of being a Christian

I tried to rather be like other Christians
I watched them
I spied on them
I struggled to be like them
I looked up to them
Saw them as perfect
And aspired to be seen likewise
But I know I lost it
I lost myself in trying to be like other Christians

I wondered, Oh I wondered
I felt condemned
Condemned because I had failed
Failed who?
I had failed myself
Failed my expectations
I felt I had failed in being a Christian

I got lost in trying to be an accepted Christian
Not because I tried to be a Christian as it is
I got lost striving to change on the surface
Striving to make the world see what I thought I had become
But I really was lost

I was lost in trying
Always trying

I forgot
Or rather neglected the fact that I didn't need to try
All I had to do was tell my Savior to help me

I was tired of being lost
So I cried
I cried to Jesus
I asked Him to help me
I asked Him to teach me
To mold me
To change me
I asked Jesus to make me who He wanted me to be

I asked and indeed I received
I am not yet the epitome of perfection
But Jesus is my new teacher
I am now letting Jesus live through me
And not me trying to be Him

I was lost, but now I am found in Jesus

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