The focal point

I really do not know if thrilled or excited captured the way I was feeling, I would rather have described myself as ecstatic that morning. I could already see and imagine what I was hoping for, I even dreamt about it. It is not like I get exceptionally excited about things this often, but believe me this was called for.  I believe I was more excited about going to this church than even going to a new city, after all the Hillsong church did not seem like child's play to me.

So that was the bubble that got me so excited. I was going to the Hillsong church. I had certain expectations from the church. A large stage, a big auditorium, probably as big as a stadium, a great seat I could see clearly from and most importantly great worship. Boy oh boy, was I prepped up for this.

I woke up as early as I could, got ready and checked I did not leave a thing behind. I got to the bus on time and took a seat. As I sat through the bus ride, I was ruminating on how the service was going to be. I could practically feel the type of worship I was anticipating. I was simply thrilled. Irrespective of the many excited feelings that appeared to be jumping around in my system, I had this pull in my spirit(Holy Spirit at work :)). The Holy Spirit drew my attention to the fact that me enjoying His presence was not dependent on the church I attended. Instead he made me understand that the presence of God already exists in me. "For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you"- Luke 17:21

If you have been to any modern or anglican church, you will be used to the conventional atmosphere of the church. By conventional I mean a church where things are in order, you get ushered to your seat and the likes. Well, that was what I expected at the Hillsong Church. The service was to start at 10am and I got there at about 10:10am. My first shocker was right at the entrance of the church. Since I was late I simply ignored and rushed along.

Yep, that was the look I got on my face when I got up the stairs, talk about a total shocker. The place was packed with people as I expected, but the environment was the complete opposite of my expectations. If the little knowledge I possessed was correct this venue did look much like a pub. Hmmmm, this was gonna be one service. 

Simply identifying with the current location I found myself, my high hopes seemed to shy away slowly. There was no sitting space anywhere, which implied I was  going to stand through out the service. At this thought, I began to wonder if all my hopes were dashed. I could not even see the stage well enough, except through the monitors and mehn I was sad.

A part of me seriously wanted to just shy away and stay in the background, after all no one really knew me there.  I felt a nudge in my spirit again, which reaffirmed the purpose my going to church was for: making the spirit of God I already have in me fellowship with others. I kept my mind open irrespective of how things looked and just got ushered into the atmosphere of worship. Time flew by without me even noticing I was on my feet the whole time, worship flowed with such elegance and lack of concern that I hardly remembered my presupposition compared to my current surrounding.

That was my situation, but then the reality of it is that, we have presuppositions that usually do not depict the reality we expect. Times when we have a glimpse of things in our minds and simply expect the reality to surface like that... Yeah, we all have those times. And very often we see the reality of our unreality, and how things do not fall into place like we hoped for.

Most often we simply shy away from what we get, because we believe we deserve better. It's in the process of neglecting or shying away that we forget the true purpose of a situation. If I chose to hold on to my initial dissatisfaction of the environment, I probably would have missed out on the experience I had with God that day. The same applies in our lives, if we simply shy away because things are not the way we  expect or want them to be, we would often miss the relevant lessons we are to learn from things being the way they are.

Life as it is, is full of many surprises. While there are some we like and would love to experience everyday, there are some which rock us. However, with every single experience there is a relevant lesson. So embrace each situation and neglect the disappointment, ("Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and lean not on your own understanding"- Prov 3:5) move on to achieve as much as you can with the little you get. After all the bible even admonishes us not to despise the days of small beginnings.

The sky is indeed our limit, we can choose to let disappointments reign, or simply stand on the disappointments and get every ounce of victory we can.

Anglican church: In relation to their specific church structures.

New comer in the building

I have a little sense of adventure in me, but in this new unfamiliar town, hmmmm I don’t know.

You know that feeling when you are between excited and nervous?

Excited because you are about to do something you classify as fun and new, but yet nervous and almost scared of what you are about to do. Well that's how I felt that hot summer afternoon.

All dressed and ready to take up the challenge the day had for me, I stepped out into the sun and smiled all the way to my destination. I was grateful I got a free ride and did not have to face the first hustle of having to find my way myself.

Tick tick tick went the hand of the clock and time flew. The initial excitement and nervousness I felt dying down somewhere in between the chatter and work, I barely noticed. Boy was I hungry. I was excited the day had drawn to a close, and almost forgot I had to find my way home myself. I “carefully” studied the directions I was to take home, packed my things and got ready to go.

Pushing away all the nervousness that seemed to have built up again while planning my trip back home, I alighted from the vehicle and found myself in the train station, surrounded by many signs which seemed familiar from movies, but too unfamiliar in the physical. Ohhh my gawd, I almost wanted to run and hide. But as we always have it, I gave a bold face and walked “boldly” to the customer care lady, and with my “highly sophisticated” English, I asked where I was to get a ticket for the next train.

I know it seems easier than I have it written, but the reality is that I wasn’t sure of my final stop. I thought it was Stenton but all around I saw Trenton and I simply assumed it was one and the same, after all the only difference in pronunciation and spelling was the “s”.

Feeling a little confident,  and believing I knew my final destination, I bought my ticket and walked on to the train line to get on my train, but mehn I had this gut feeling that just wouldn’t go. It was almost like my heart was beating out, and all because of what... one ordinary train.

Shaking my head, I was disappointed in myself; I gave myself a little confidence talk in my head while looking around this new surrounding and simply stood my ground.

Overhead announcer: “We are sorry to inform you the train has been delayed and bla bla bla”

Thinking of it now, I won’t be too surprised if that delay was because of me, because it did save me a trip to another state. I took a closer look at my ticket considering the uneasiness I felt in my spirit that didn’t want to enter the train, strolled back to the woman at the counter and told her the address of where exactly I was going.

It appeared there and then that the gut feeling I had was right, which I can say is my spirit as I was a few minutes away from taking a wrong train out of town. On getting the right information, I changed my ticket and walked joyfully to the right train with little or no feeling of anxiety or worry. I may not have realized then, but I did learn a significant lesson.

Our lives as Christians are often times depicted as my little destination palava (problem), where we think we know the specific direction we are headed, but we really don’t.  “Many are the ways that seem right to a man, but the end thereof is the way of death”- Proverbs 16:25. 

We often find ourselves in certain situations we think we have the strength to run through, but realize along the way the errors of our thoughts.  These situations or scenarios often get us so bashed, we feel sick in our hearts and spirits like I did with the gut feeling.

I didn’t mention how shy and stupid I felt walking back to the counter to correct the error of my ways, but the relief I got from knowing I was now on the right path was stunning.

I know we’ve probably read or heard a million or gazillion times, the verse:  “if any man lacks wisdom let him ask of God who freely gives”- James 1:5. Wisdom in this sense, doesn’t necessarily mean the most majestic knowledge, but can be related to the littlest things like getting right advice. I walked up to the counter initially with a certain air of confidence, hoping I knew where I was going.  If only I took my time to search, then i would have realized I was not too sure.

In our growth as Christians, we tend to experience situations where albeit we try to understand somethings, we end up with little or no understanding. We carry our heads up high so no one looks down on us, and thus ignore the feeling in our spirit. I am no saint and I admit to have done this on different occasions, but understanding the role fellow Christians play in our lives can indeed put us through  our mystery and help us grow faster.

I am an adult, and anyone would wonder why exploring a new city or even taking a train should call for attention, but it’s just to make me understand that though I think I know a lot of things most of the time, I could be wrong and require help to get back on the right track.

The simple feeling of knowing I was finally going on the right train made me breathe out a heavy sigh I did not know I held in. We as Christians often times don’t admit the weight we hold on to when we hold unto uncertainties, and until we learn to ask for help or advice from those around, we don’t get to really experience the many things the word of God promises us.

I am fully aware of the fact that our Christian growth is more of a personal thing, but I am also aware of the fact that God put in place leaders ahead of us for a reason. Jesus and his disciples are the best example, they showed how they learned from each other by asking questions, and therefore set an example for us to learn from one another. The bible says “ask and it shall be given unto you…” (Matthew 7:7), asking doesn't have to be just the huge things we think we deserve, but even the little things we are uncertain about.

My one day trip as a JJC(new comer) in this train station has enlightened me a little more. I haven’t lost my sense of adventure, neither has my confidence reduced. Be that as it may, I have realized that even with my high level of confidence and adventurous nature I still need help sometimes. This in effect means although we have things that rock us as Christians, the desire to press on should be ever present. We weren't created to be perfect, hence our imperfection... So we should not look down on ourselves and back out on certain reasons, but persevere and show that we are overcomers.

Shalom

JJC : also known as Johnny Just Come is a nigerian slang for someone in a new surrounding.

zzzzzz goes the fly

“zzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzz” the buzzing of the silly housefly just kept humming in my ears. “Ahhhhh” I screamed and tried endlessly and in an unfruitful manner to kill it.

In and out it went, from front, to left, to right, to center playing not even the game of hide and seek with me, but who is the fastest. 

Boy was I mad. The fact that I was jumping around just to kill one silly fly was not nearly as annoying as the sound the fly was making. I tried again with several failed attempts, swinging my cloth around and just trying to kill it wherever I heard it sound. If I wasn’t human, I would I have said the fly was smart because it always found a way to escape.

My hands were hurting from swinging continuously to no avail and I was almost dizzy just turning around in a seamless circle. *sighing* I paused to take a breath and actually just let the fly fool around for a while before it settled, which I presumed it was gonna do. As I waited  patiently, as my already uneasy body could, I observed the fly rotate in a circle for a little while, and finally rest  its tiny little body that seemed harmless and quite on the window still.

 *slam slam slam* yep that was the sound of me killing it, I almost did a victory dance just knowing I didn't have to hear that annoying sound hovering over me while I went back to my position resting.  I guess this was the point I appreciated the silence of the room.

So I am sure someone is wondering what my long story as got to do with anything, after all we all have such experiences, well let’s just say I learnt a lesson from it.

Let’s say the annoying sound of the fly is in our everyday lives, is the devil. 

The running around in rotating circles to distract us from knowing its exact location, is he (the devil) playing around in our lives and making us annoyed. 

The aches in our hand due to endless attempts trying to kill the fly, is he(the devil) getting us tired and frustrated when whatever he does seems to be taking a toll on us without our effort yielding any impact.

The pause, this i see as when we get tried and actually come to the realization that just following in the footsteps of his last attempt yields nothing and simply gets us more upset.

In the event whereby we pause, we get to realize the tricks of the devil and ultimately gain the wisdom ( noticing how it moves in a particular circle)  and understanding that not worrying will eventually let our adversary, which was in this case the fly stop and relax.

It is in the process of it (the devil or the fly) relaxing because he thinks he is finally settled and gotten us used to him being there that we charge to kill and displace him.

Learning to trust God in all situations and letting go of our worries, allows us to see, that although things seem very difficult and often times like they are not going in our favor, we sitting back, pausing and praying as said in Philippians 4:6 “Be ye anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer, supplication and thanksgiving make your request known unto God”, we get to see that God is really in charge and would take care of the devil once we just trust in him.

My little fly encounter was annoying and frustrating as of the time it occurred, but reflecting and learning from it made it worth it. Life as it is will always come with its challenges because the devil is in charge of the world, but acknowledging the fact that God makes us supernatural and will take care of all our troubles is what keeps hope alive. Trust him; He has always got your back.

Three bears

Being in school at a stretch makes one lose touch with something’s. For me one of the things I almost totally lost touch with was how to ride a bicycle. So once I got home and realized practically everyone was on a bike, the determination to get back on it came to life.

I’ll probably have to explain the whole process to make my point, but it’s definitely worth it. So kindly read it all. Well there are three bicycles in the house with various levels and degrees of riding. The first can be related to baby bear in “Goldie locks and the three bears”, second is the mama bear bike and the third is the father bear. 

The first bike (baby bear) isn’t a tiny bike that can’t be ridden by an adult, considering the fact that I am small and cute I can say that one pretty much suited my package.

Anyway starting to ride again meant I had to start with the baby bear and as the bible says “do not despise the days of small beginnings.” Don’t really remember if I fell off the bike at any point, but the process was more like an adult going back to preschool to learn alphabets. I sincerely had to start from scratch, putting one leg on the floor a million times to balance and almost forgetting the use of the breaks, having to concentrate and learn to ride only in the compound to avoid any accidents whatsoever.

Few weeks in and I was  sincerely excited about the whole process and thou i had a few bruises I wasn’t ready to stop. By now I had already gained full ground on how to maneuver  baby bear around and thus went on my first trip on the road. Talk about the sense of freedom I felt being on the bike and out of the house. It was simply thrilling and I couldn’t wait to get more of it.

Well since I had gotten good grounds with baby bear, the next point of action was mama bear. On a normal day since mama bear was a tall mountain bike, she won’t have been on my to-do list, but since I was going through a learning process this was simply something I could not avoid. 

On I went on her the first day, and to the ground I came crashing, she was so tall I found difficulty getting to sit right. Well after a while I did get to sit, but paddling was another catastrophe, I began wondering if I had learnt anything at all by riding baby bear, it just seemed like mama bear was bringing everything I did on baby bear down and making it seem useless. I gave up on mama bear a number of times and returned to baby bear to regain my confidence. But each time, I realized that if I wanted to be good at what I was doing I had to do it right. 

So back on mama bear I would go and how delightful I was when I conquered her, I rode her with even more confidence than baby bear, and even became determined not to return to baby bear, as it seemed like child’s play compared to this. I rode in the glory of mama bear for many days, almost not having the desire to take the next step to father bear. 

To me for mother bear  to have been unapproachable father bear was a taboo, but now mother bear was conquered and yet still father bear seemed farfetched for me. I rode continuously in the glory of mama bear, learning to forget the pains associated in continuously paddling the mountain bike. With this bike I tried various things, and I rode freely, I kept my mind focused on it and did not desire to either go back, or even tickle talk less of tackle father bear.

But judgment day was coming, and on one of my riding days my father simply ordered me to ride father bear. At first I simply stare at him in open oblivion, and wondered what joke he is pulling on me, but his face doesn’t cry out “I am joking” and this meant I simply had to ride. Taking a first serious ride on this bike did not mean I was riding within the compound first, it meant I was going in for the catch straight up. 

I had my fears, but I still picked the bike and drove out of the gate after my father. I would not hesitate the say the shock I got on this bike; believe me when I say it was a smooth ride. Apparently after having a go at baby bear and mama bear, father bear was just exciting, classical, I don’t even know the words to explain how easy it was on that bike. 

Father bear represented the biggest of all, and even thou I was just a step away from getting there I recall the fear I felt. Since I have finally been able to conqueror all three bikes, picking up any and riding isn’t much of a problem, I have no limitations to whichever I desire. 

All these came up as a lesson, one which we see in our very own Christian lives, the entire growth process, with baby bear being us new in Christ moving around almost hopeless and just desiring to grow no matter what “ if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature…” 2 Cor 5:17.

Mama bear representing the next level we are has Christian, how much we have grown and how it seems we are at the peak of it all, how we desire to continue touching lives, and most often desire to remain at that position.   

Father bear on its own representing where we are to be, and how smooth our Christianity goes once we attain that level desired for us by God. 

As I always say I am not innocent by saying I haven’t acted like this, even the story about the bike plainly shows my fear. But has children of God we always have to understand God’s desires for us and learn to accept them, sometimes it seems far, it seems difficult, it seems unattainable but His word always remains when he said “ For I know the thoughts I have for you, thought of good and not of evil, to bring you to an expected end” Jer 29:11. 

Baby bear is always the first step we have to go though, mama bear the continuation and father bear the final lap, but many of us like to stop at mama bear not even willing to see what father bear has to offer. But in most if not all instances, for us to conquer mother bear means father bear is the going to be an easy ride. 

Do not be afraid to take on the next challenge in your Christian walk, or any aspect of your life, God’s plan is always supreme and is always for good, keep trusting Him and He would help you attain the optimal result.

Oh did i mention that I did get bruised after riding father bear, this was because I was so carefree about being able to cruise around at such ease I totally lost touch with my break. This simply signified that no matter how much it seems we are in control after getting to that point, we still always have to look up to God to keep us in control...

shalom

Somebody Help!!!

Some years ago, when I was about 8 or 9 can’t quite remember the exact age, my family and I took a trip to Lagos from Ibadan. I was pretty excited about the trip, firstly because we were going to Lagos and secondly because we were going to see a family friend I hadn’t seen in a while. My excitement reached hyper level on getting to the exact location because the house I happened to be staring at was huge and I mean huge compared to what I was used too. It rather looked like one of the ones seen only in movies to me. Well we drove in, said the pleasantries, bla bla bla and we finally all found ourselves upstairs, with the adults discussing. 

Well, little me decided to get adventurous and go exploring this big house, after all I dint know when next I was going to get such an opportunity. Off I went like little red riding hood and somehow found my way downstairs. Room by room I went, checking out the house until I found myself in this huge n cute looking bathroom. Hmmmm, this definitely looked different, so in I went and found a way to lock myself up in there. 

The idea of being locked up wasn’t a big deal, and would have been just fine if the lock was the conventional one used back in the days. But no, this also new n different n seemed cool to play with. At first, when I tried to unlock it, I felt calm with myself, that all was well and the door would unlock easily, 10 minutes going nothing seemed to be happening and then I began to panic, my heart was racing as fast as it could. 

Ohhh my God, I was defiantly in for it, everyone was upstairs and the distance of this bathroom from where they were, wasn’t a funny issue, so I did all dat was in ma capability to do n began to shout out “daddy, daddy” with a shaky voice hoping he would hear. When I realized this wasn’t getting me out, my 8 or 9 yr old bravery began to fail me and with tears in my eyes and the shakiest voice which I doubt would have been better than the first  shouted “daaaaaaddddddi, muuuummy, heeeeelp”. By now the tears were flowing freely and involuntarily. I began thinking or rather compiling as much information as my brain could program, thinking “would they leave me, and forget me in Lagos?” and a lot of other random thoughts.

Somewhere along all this, someone upstairs realized a lil child was missing and they started searching for me and heard my little squeaky voice from the bathroom and got me out. The feeling of relief I felt then was just overwhelming, more or less like “finally, out of jail”. 

I'm sure somebody is wondering, ok so what are you trying to get at? Well, the scenario is pretty much the same with real life instances.  There are certain times in our lives, where we get into certain situations or incidents whereby we try our very best to get out of it by our own will and power. But, it isn’t until we cry out to God, no matter how low or squeaky our voices are; before He comes up or sends someone to rescues n bring us out of the situation.

Call on God in every situation, cos he is always waiting to either pull you out himself, or send a helping hand…. :)